Butter Stick

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Managed a cheeky lie in today at Auntie Susans until 9:30, came downstairs and had a cheeky ham and mustard butty! We went to Nan & Gumbies on the way back to London for a cup of tea and Jake had a good play in the garden and really enjoyed himself………… We decided that we would tidy the garden at home tomorrow……… It won’t happen!!

Got home and Chris had made the house surprisingly tidy, he had even washed the bedding and put it back on again……… Thats quite something! We decided to have a game of Pro Evo, It was 1 all at full time so to extra time it went, Chris went 2-1 up but then got a man sent off due to a second yellow for a horrific challenge, I bagged 2 goals in the 2nd half of extra time to take the match 3-2……………….. I fuckin rule!!

Had a quick thought whilst trying to get to sleep that i should really start moving on with my butter stick idea, Im sitting on a little goldmine there!

4 Breakfasts

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Stace had 4 breakfasts this morning!! Museli and yoghurt to start with, then cheese and tomato’s on toast, then fruit salad and then ham and cheese on bread followed by cold coffee!

We had to be out of the room by 12 noon and the taxi wasn’t arriving t so we had loads and loads of time to kill, We went for a wander again and found ourselves going across Charles Bridge and walking up the massive fuckin hill that we had previously got the cable car up! Saw St Vitus Cathedral and the castle close up which was nice i suppose. I went on a mission to find a shop that sells English papers and eventually found one, took my paper to a cafe and drank coffee and read it. Liverpool won 3-0 away to PSV Eindhoven last night which is a good result for them, I hope Chelsea lose tonight!

Walked back down the old castle steps and went and found something called John Lennon Wall, Its a wall dedicated strangely enough to John Lennon!! Every year on December 8th (The anniversary of his death) people meet up near the wall and sing Beatles songs and chant things like Give Peace a Chance…………. Hippy fucks! After that we took the long way round to a restaurant that we had read about to eat some traditional Czech food…………. I had steak! After that we had 2 hours to kill before the taxi came……… 1 word………….. Booooring! We looked around loads of shops and counted the amount of time we had until the taxi would arrive!

Got to the airport and had a shitty KFC then found out that our plane was delayed by 55 shitty minutes……………. BOLLOCKS! The plane was delayed by 1 hour and 20 minutes in the end but we got back safe and sound but bloody knackered in the end.

More Tex Than Mex

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Went around all the markets today and wanked all our money in a very short period of time buying. crappy presents for everyone! Had to go back to the hotel to get more money and guess what……….. The poxy safe wouldn’t open again so we had to call the fat bitch on reception again so that she could call the safe people again and they could send the man out again……….. What a ball ache, Stace wasn’t happy again!

Went to a hotel called U Prince where they have a roof terrace that overlooks Old Town Square, was lovely. Stacey had a cocktail. Spent the rest of the day wandering around the markets that sell all the same overpriced shite taking full advantage of the tourists!

Made our way to the Jewish Quarter to look at all the old Jew graves but because it was Easter it was closed……….. Great! Found out that Good King Wenceslas was actually a real king who employed people to build the Hunger Wall which is so called because it was built purely for the purpose of making work for people so they can earn money to feed their families, Also found out that Good King Wenceslas was killed by his own brother which led me to believe that he couldn’t have been that great after all.

Had dinner in a place called Buffalo Bills which was apparently “More Tex Than Mex” and it was bloody lovely and stupidly cheap, we got the idea from the book that i got Stacey fro Xmas……. Glad i bought it now. Went for a couple of glasses of wine in Old Town Square and then went back to the hotel. Ali G was on the TV and it was the one where he goes to America and goes out with the police……….. He tells the man that he may be a honky but he’s still hunk like a donkey! Buhahahahahahahaha classic!

Safe Cracker

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Another day in the Czech capital today, woke up in a massive bed and ordered breakfast in bed from room service………….. Ate loads of food then went back to sleep, Now that is the life!

Went for a walk to discover the wonders of Prague. Walked across
Charles Bridge and then went in a cable car up a massive hill alongside the Hunger Wall. There was a tower at the top of the hill which i thought would be a great idea to climb, Stace didn’t and was shitting herself by the time we got to the top! The views were stunning though and you could see the whole city. On the way down my legs got really shaky and i had to sit down afterwards.

Went back to the hotel afterwards and had a snooze, woke up and tried to get our money out of the safe and realised that it had locked itself and wouldn’t open. Had to call the hotel staff who had to call the safe people who had to send a geezer out to crack it……….. Stace was well angry!

Took Stace out to a proper posh restaurant on an island in the middle of the
river, I could tell it was dead posh because the food was all stacked up on top of each other in a poncey way and there wasn’t much of it. When the waiter bought it to our table it was under one of those silver lidded thingies ans Stace started giggling because she said she could see her reflection in it!
DJAd sent me a stupid text from Legal Eagle which made me
chuckle. Went and had a few drinks in some pubs and the went hunting for chocolate………… Couldn’t find any so went home and collapsed on the bed!

Charles Bridge

The Hunger Wall

Stace Drinking A Beer

The View From The Tower


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Had to get up at 4:15 this morning to drive to Gatwick, what a shitter! Got to the airport and the queue for checkin was ridiculous, i hate queuing. I amused myself by asking Stace what was heavier, a ton of feathers or a ton of coal. She said a ton of coal was and i obviously called her thick and laughed at her…….. The funniest part of it was that even when i told her why she was being so dumb she still didn’t get it, She blames it on baby brain!

The flight was relatively painless and we even got emergency exit seats so i had plenty of leg room which was nice. Tried to have a bit of a snooze but was only drifting, opened my eyes and i saw Stacey giving one of my chocolate Eclairs to the Indian lady next to her………. Not happy at all!

When we arrived in Prague there was a man waiting with a sign with Anthony Fincher on it, I felt like i was a bit of a movie star so i put my sunglasses on and looked like i was rushing! The driver was from LA and a bit OTT like most Americans I’ve ever met. Our flight was a little late getting in so the American had to make a call to get someone else to pick up his next punter. He rang a chap named George and told him the name of his next customer…………. Mr Boner………… Buhahahahahahahahahahaha, i couldn’t help thinking if it was a wind up or not though just to get someone to stand at Prague airport with a sign saying Mr Boner, That i would love to have seen!

Settled in to our hotel and unpacked our stuff then went for a walk to get our bearings and of course take some pics on the D-SLR.

Old Town Square

A Cheeky Red Squirrel
View From The Steps

Bridges Over The River

Some Eastern European Band

Prague is a really lovely place and the weather was surprisingly warm. We had a bit more of a wander and ended up in a pub that was over 400 years old for a beer and some food, Stace had Stroganoff and i naturally had steak and the whole lot was under a tenner…….. Now that you cannot complain about!!

Dr Who?

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Off on my holiday to Prague tomorrow so went to Auntie Susan’s so that Jake can settle in before we fly off for 4 days. He enjoyed himself on the whole and liked playing with Shane’s toys. Sue and Stacey gave Jacob a bath and when he got out Stace dried him with a Manchester United towell so i text Christopher a picture of it………….. He replied saying that Jacob was barred when he got back!

Went and had a butchers at Small Jhons new gaff today with Big Phil & Debs, He’s got himself a right little bargain there, 400 notes a month for 3 bedrooms, a garage and a shed. There was a little conservatory too but it smelt a little pungent!!

The new series of Dr Who started this evening and it was pretty cool. His new assistant is actually quite fit………… I for one most certainly would!

Early night tonight as we have to get up double bastartd early to drive to the airport………. Great! We might meet Pat and Gill for breakfast if theres time though which might be nice.


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Chris left for work and had to come back because he forogt his iPod so he went again, then he came back again because he had forgotten his sandwiches……….. He is so unorganised, i dont really know how he copes day to day!

Watched the trailer for the new GTA game today, gotta say it looks bloody impressive. Those boys at Rockstar have got it sewn up thats for sure. Looks like its based on New York which is pretty cool.

Sigrun was looking after Jake today and took him for a walk to try and get some numbers for rooms for her and Chris. She was taking ages and it turns out she actually went and had a look at a room above a cafe somewhere, she said that a big black man heped her up the stairs with the buggy and Jake screamed his heart out!

Uncle David came round to unblock the drain in the back garden because it was overflowing, he managed to do that and he also managed to make our entire flat reek of shit………… Thanks David!

Sigrun watched Hitch where Will Smith a “dating consultant” and i wondered if such a job existed and if it did how well paid it was?

Had Chinese with Chris & Sigrun tonight, Christopher owes me a tenner too, Went to
bed and Stace woke me up saying that i was talking in my sleep, apparently i was saying “acro awake”………….. ive no idea what that means!!

Theatre Blues

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It was Rachel’s Birthday on the Chris Moyles show today, They did all the usual Birthday stuff and the tedious link was Tiny Dancer by Elton John as its Rachels favourite and she cried, bit pathetic really i though but i did like the song so i downloaded it when i got home!

Had to go to a lovely place in the country down a windy country road which made a pleasant change from rincing round the motorways all the time.

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When i got to my appointment i was told that i had to get scrubbed up as i was going to be working in Theatres, They are surprsingly comfortable but make me look like an absolute tit!! Maybe ill get some for around the house where it doesnt matter what i look like………….. Stace might like some too!
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Got myself a cheeky Strawberry Milkshake from Maccy D’s on the way home…………. I was once told by a girl called Lisa that there is enough bacteria in a small McDonalds milkshake to kill a new born baby, i dont think i believe it but whenever i get one i think of it and always tell whoever im wih about it!

We all watched The Apprentice tonight that i recorded from last night, Alan Sugar is a bit of an idiot really, he gives them tasks to do that i dont suppose ho could do with a ridicolous timeframe to do them in, Anyway the big fat guy got fired and deservedly so because he was a nob!
Sigrun told me that Norway has more coast line than any other country in the world, i didnt believe her……….. looked it up and its true, all because of the fjords apparently!


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Watched 24 today, Jack found out that Audrey had died whilst she was looking for Jack in Chin as he was getting tortured. I’m getting a bit bored of 24 now………….. Jack cant keep stopping America fr om getting nuked.

Sigrun arrived from today, I bombarded her with questions about Norway and even got the world map out! I got her to pronounce all the Norwegian footballers names correctly while Chris washed up…………. that killed a good 10 minutes!

England played Andorra this evening, we really are shit now! I hope Steve Maclaren gets the sack and they employ someone decent who will bring Becks back in! Anyway we ended up winning 3-0 with Stevie G scoring a Bobby Belter and David Nugent coming off the bench to score in injury time………… Still shit though!!
On a side not i found out that Andorra’s entire population would fit inside Old Trafford and they have the longest life expectancy of any country in the world.

We Didn’t Start The Fire

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Had to go to Twickenham today for work, bit of a shitty drive around the M25 but it was nice to see the National Rugby Stadium. I bought myself a tennis racket from JJB Sports in Isleworth, i got the Prince one that was reduced from 30 notes down to 25……… I do love a cheeky bargain!!

On the way home i rang Stace……….. She didn’t answer so i left a message with me singing the tune that Jacob’s Backyardigan toy sings “Everybody shout Ho Daddy, Ho Daddy……….. Surfs Up, Surfs up”!!

Billy Joel – We Didn’t Start The Fire came on the radio so i had a good sing along trying to remember all the names in it…………………. I always get the Marylin Monroe bit right.

Saw a couple of very odd things on the way home the first being that when i pulled up at some traffic lights i decided to go in the left lane, there was a man in a van in front of me and 2 Rastas in a banged up old Metro alongside them in the other lane. The man in the van was smoking a fag with his window down, The Passenger Rasta wound down his window and asked the man in the van something, next minute the man in the van was handing the Rasta his half smoked fag much to his delight. The lights turned green and everyone drove off happy!

Getting deeper in to London and more traffic lights where i pull up alongside 2 women, they were incredibly huge and both smoking ridiculous amounts of fags with the windows down and stereo at full whack. I looked over and they were singing their fat hearts out to the song “We’ve got tonight, Who needs tomorrow” and then at the end of the chorus it says “Why don’t you staaaaaayyy“.

Got home, Made a home made lasagne from scratch for the first time ever, Chris and Stacey really liked it but i thought it tasted like shit, i think maybe they did too and they were just being polite but then again they did eat it all!

Played loads of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the X-Box, the games not great but its a proper easy 1000 gamer points!!